let’s start with a question, Is self-respect depends on a bunch of people with whom we spend our life or at least a part of our life? If yes then should it be? if not then why we have to be always conscious or be insecure about losing it?
Now let’s talk about a practical scenario, a woman who is humiliated and abused by her husband and also thrown out of the house. She goes back to her parents home, now neighbors by default have a mentality that she has done something bad and for Indian women take a divorce or to leave his husband’s house is treated a non-acceptable decision by the society. So did she really lost her self-respect because each morning when she comes out of her house, neighbors murmers in each other’s ears?
Take an example of a maid who asks for an advance salary from one the house owner where she works and even after saying no she, again and again, asks for money every day, did she lost her self-respect?. A man who lost his job in a lay off in a company but still goes there asking for a proper justification and if possible, to recruit him again. Think of a student who is humiliated by the teacher every time he asks any doubt and jokes are cracked not only by the teacher but his peers too. Think of a girl who had many relationships in her academic years. Did all these people lose their self-respect?
Who are we to decide that someone has self-respect or not. Self-respect is something which gives us the strength to stand in front of the mirror every morning and face yourself. You can’t do anything if we someone doesn’t respect you but what you can do is not to care about these bunch of people because anyway there are millions of other people. To insult someone is just an entertainment in their life and you can always choose not to be part of that.
Well in my case, I don’t live for anyone and no one’s perception can ever make me feel disgusted with myself. No one’s opinion, words or behavior affects my self-respect, it may affect my personality or impression between few others but then they can do it anytime and I have no control over it nor I want. If some person X trust me and some person Y has a bad impression on me so definitely I will pass it to X who trust me more and will be convinced that Y is bad until they meet and Y redefines his statement of the impression which has already made by me.
If someone thinks that you have lost the self-respect and they can do whatever they want, then prove them wrong not because you need that back but because you need to face yourself every second of your life. Accept your mistakes because if you are not going to accept them then no one will. Most of the suicide cases, ragging, physical abuse etc are because we have a wrong definition about self-respect. Be proud of yourself and enjoy every second not by thinking what others feel but by feeling right about your life!.